I have pumped gas thousands of times in my life and this time, like so many others, I left my keys, wallet and phone on the center console of my SUV. I shut all of the doors, as my son was in the back seat and I proceeded to put my credit card into the pump and start entering my information to turn the fuel on. As I was doing this, I was not paying attention to what was happening on the other side of my vehicle. I was paying attention to the pump and thinking about the rest of our day. This was a big mistake. While I was occupied on the passenger side of my vehicle, a criminal had silently crept his vehicle alongside my driver’s side door, opened it ever so quietly, and jumped in and grabbed my wallet and phone.

Luckily, this criminal did not drive off with my car, or my son in the vehicle. A few moments later though, my son jumped out of my vehicle screaming that we had been robbed. I learned a number of things that day. The most important thing I learned is that as long as your loved ones are safe, everything is going to be okay. (I really struggled with the idea that my son could have been gone from my life in one instant).

Here are the key takeaways that I have learned in hopes that it will save another mother from going through a frightening experience like this:

1. First, make sure you have your iPhone set up on Find Your iPhone. When you have this set up and turned on through your computer, the police can track the whereabouts of your phone and locate the perpetrator.
2. Next, make sure you turn off the child locks in your car if your child is over the age of three. My son is nine and the fact that I had the child locks turned on made him unable to jump out of the car when the criminal entered the vehicle. Luckily, my son hid in the back seat and did not say a word, which ended up yielding him safe.
3. After having gone through this experience, I would suggest not taking kids to the gas station with you if you are the only adult in the car. The police let me know that poachers sit and wait at gas stations to rob people, typically single women as they pump gas into their cars. It is not worth the scare, so if you can find time to go to the gas station when your child is not with you, do it.
4. Another tip I learned from the police is to always lock your car doors with your key in hand while you are pumping gas. Makes all the sense in the world, but it never crossed my mind before.
5. The Police also taught us to always try to memorize the make, model and license plate of a criminal’s vehicle if you find yourself in a situation where there is trouble. By staying silent and capturing this information you can help the police do their job and apprehend the perpetrator.

What To Do When You’re Home From The Crime Scene

Once we had left the gas station, we headed home to meet the police and luckily I had someone call to begin cancelling all of my credit cards.

1. Keep a current list of all of your active credit cards and having a back up form of ID is critical in situations like this.
2. This was the first time I felt disappointed that I haven’t bought my son a cell phone. Not having an additional cell phone handy made it very difficult until I got my replacement phone.
3. Lastly, buyer beware: if you go to the Apple store and ask to buy a phone, you have to pay the whole retail fee vs. calling your phone provider, filing out the proper paperwork and getting a replacement phone shipped to you for a small fee. The only challenge with this is you may find yourself without a phone for a few days, which is headache to say the least.

Again, my biggest takeaway from this whole experience is that your whole life can change in an instant. Never take for granted your loved ones and don’t assume that everyone in the world has good intentions just because you do. Caring for our kids and keeping them safe needs to be a top priority. I am so grateful I still have the chance to do that for mine.

The good news is my son has had the chance to see how the Police can help and protect us when we are in need. He also had the opportunity to learn what to do if faced with a criminal again, and while I am hoping that never ever happens, we will be better prepared for the future in case it does.

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Lesson 10: Pursue Your Passion

When I grew up, I didn’t realize that you could really follow and pursue your pas-sion. Instead, I focused on getting a job to make money. Through being a mom, though, I’ve learned how important it is to do what you love…whatever that is.

Today, I am learning from raising my son that everyone needs to follow their heart and pursue their passion. I constantly talk to my son about what it is that he wants to do, and of course, he wants to be a professional basketball player! While I know that there are very few people that will ever become pro NBA players, I encourage him everyday to pursue that dream and train hard to put himself in a position to get there. By encouraging him and talking with him about creating the life that he wants, I’m reminded that I need to create the life that I want.

It is never too late to pursue your dreams and follow your heart. I got away from this concept for years and have finally found my way back to it. I can tell you when you are doing something that is meaningful and purpose driven, you will see everything differently. Pursue your life passion and let nothing get in your way. For a long time, I forgot that this was the right thing to do. I am grateful to be learning from my son that it is never too late to be the person your were destined to become. Pursue greatness, because that is what you deserve.

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Lesson 9: Winning Can Be Overrated

I had no idea that being a mom would give me so much insight into who I am. Motherhood has taught me to take a deeper look at my flaws and adjust accordingly.

When he was very young, my son started struggling with competition. Both his mother and fa-ther are extremely competitive and apparently, he inherited this trait. At first, I was not put off by it; I thought it was something great that would push him forward to success in life. What I learned was too much emphasis on “winning” was not helpful for him and created problems with his friends. This forced me to dive into what being competitive really meant.

One thing I realized by talking to him about how it’s okay to lose at a game is that it actually is okay to lose once in a while! Until I became a mom, I don’t think that I knew that. I heard my-self telling my son that whether he won or not did not change the fact that he is an amazing little boy with a good heart and great personality. I started to think about this, and he and I would dis-cuss it most every day.

Over time, this helped. He has become more comfortable with losses and I think I have, too. Sometimes, through teaching someone you love a lesson, you are able to really apply it to your-self and grow. Being a mom is the most incredible gift I have ever been given and I’ve learned that losing once in a while does not change or take away from the amazing individual that you are.

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Lesson 8: Commit to Being Brave

I have always felt very strong and driven, but what I’ve learned from being a mom is how to have courage. Motherhood has intensified my commitment to being brave. Knowing that I have my mini-me watching and listening has made me think twice about giving up on something or not forging ahead.

Because I want my son to be the best person he can be and strive for greatness in his life, I need to be doing that every day to show him how it’s possible. Some of my most proud moments have been witnessing his accomplishments. When my son ran for student council in first grade and won, it was literally life chang-ing for him and me. To see him putting himself out there and being brave enough to go for something he wanted motivated me to put myself out there, too.

Knowing that I have someone that is always cheering me on behind the scenes drives me to do more. Being brave is something that my son and I talk about a lot and something that we practice even more. It doesn’t mean that we don’t have failures or fears because we do; it means that we move forward in the face of those fears and failure because we are committed to being brave. I am so grateful that, my son is teaching me to be brave and we are doing it together!

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Lesson 7: Stop Worrying. Start Living.

Worrying doesn’t pay. If there’s anything being a mom has taught me, it’s this. When my son was first born, he had an issue with his leg. We went to specialists and multiple doctors and we were told he could outgrow the issue, or he might not be able to run and be active like other kids.

I am lucky to say that my son outgrew this challenge and today, he’s a great basketball player! All of the worrying in the world did nothing to fix this issue; it was just a matter of time passing. My son also went through a phase around the time he was 1-2 years old where he was biting. This drove me crazy! I worried so much about what was wrong with him, and then one day he just stopped.

Being a mom has taught me that there are phases that kids go through and challenges that you encounter but often, just letting time pass fixes the issue at hand. This is also a great lesson that can be applied to life and work. Worrying is a waste. The truth is, time can heal all wounds and give you a new perspective.

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Lesson 6: Let It Go & Live Your Life

Being a mom has taught me to let go. As you can imagine, this has been a diffi-cult lesson to learn. I like things to go my way; I like work to go well, and I like to do the things in life that I want to do.

Having my son, getting divorced and moving forward with our life has showed me that there is no option that will work, other than letting go. When you share custody with an ex, you realize that your child will have life experiences without you that you are not aware of. This is a strange awakening. This is not what you imagined when you were pregnant, yet it becomes your reality.

The funny thing is, it can actually be a great reality. Recently, my son was at game 7 of the NBA playoffs cheering on the Miami Heat with his father. I couldn’t be happier for them to do this together. By letting go of the way that I wanted things to be, I have learned that they can be much better than any-thing I could have thought up. Being a mom has shown me that sometimes, things work out much better than you had planned.

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Lesson 5: Be a Behavior Role Model

Being a mom has had some surprising effects on me. One in particular is realizing that no matter what you say, it is more important what you do. When you have a mini-me constantly watching you and imitating you, it is imperative that you monitor your own behavior.

Motherhood has taught me to apologize very quickly when I make a mistake. I have also learned the things that I don’t like about myself are the things that my son will emulate. This is a tough one. I happen to be hard on myself and set very high expectations for myself, which can be unrealistic and not fair to me.  As my son has grown, I now see him doing the same.

This has taught me to make a very strong effort to be more forgiving and gentle to myself—but it is still a work in progress. The better I do at this, the more I see him lighten up on himself; this is the best motivation that I have! Seeing your flaws play out in front of you via your child is the best mirror you will ever find. This can work two ways: with behaviors that you don’t want emulated and ones that you find surprisingly fantastic. When your child does something so loving and thoughtful and you smile to yourself knowing that he has learned that from watching you— that can be a pretty amazing moment where everything seems beautiful.

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Lesson 4: Practice Empathy

Being a mom has taught me to have empathy. I don’t know how empathetic I was before I had my son, but now I find myself seeing other people differently.  When you imagine how you’ll be as a mother and a wife and how things will be so perfect and then you get divorced and struggle to find time for your son because you are working so much, you start to realize that life for anyone is not what is seems or what you may have wanted it to be.

Today, when I see someone being arrested or being bashed in the news, I remind myself that this person is someone’s baby. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for a mother to see their child struggle in horrific ways. My life not turning out the way I had wanted or had planned has helped me to understand we should not judge those unless we have walked in their shoes.

I try to share these life lessons with my son and miraculously, some days, he listens and really understands (and on other days he rolls his eyes and asks me to stop talking).  It is an amazing feeling knowing you get the chance to impact a person’s life by sharing your views and experiences with them in a thoughtful way. Being a mother is the most amazing gift I have ever been given.

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Lesson 3: Do It Right, Even When It’s Difficult.

Getting divorced with a one year old was extremely difficult.  No matter how upset and angry I felt during that time, though, I was able to put my son first, choosing to work my hardest to have a good relationship with my ex. This was not easy and we certainly still have our moments, but I believe that both of us working to treat one another with respect has impacted our son in a positive way.

The first couple of years were exceptionally challenging with my son crying when he would have to leave me to stay with his dad. Thankfully, it did not stay this way! Things changed. They got better. Having this insight now is helpful for me as it can be applied to anything. No matter where you are in your life and no matter how difficult things may seem in a moment, they will not stay that way. They will, and do, get better.

Keep the focus on yourself, your behavior and your choices and make them the best you possibly can. Eventually, things will improve. By having my son in my life, I learned that doing the right thing—not the easy thing—delivered the best future for all involved. Being a mom has taught me that making tough choices is never easy, but they do pay off in the end.

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Lesson 2: Give Love. Then Give Some More.

One of the most amazing things that having a baby has taught me is unconditional love. I thought I knew what love was, but what I have learned is I always used to hold back. I didn’t even realize I was doing this, but having my son showed me a new way to love.

If you haven’t experienced this, it is very difficult to explain. It didn’t matter what my son looked like, how he behaved or what he did, he had—and still has—my heart. This was new for me. In my life, I felt love for many people but I certainly had expectations and criteria in my mind that would determine how I loved someone. Meeting my son and realizing that there was a way of loving that didn’t involve these expectations and criteria has been one of the most liberarting experiences of my life.

Learning to love with the hopes and expectations of nothing in return is the most simple yet profound lesson. I can now look back at past relationships and see how my behavior was not very loving to others. My son has taught me to accept people for who they are and to love them with my whole heart, regardless of how they may be behaving in the moment. This boy has forever changed my life with this one lesson.  Love with an open heart, expect nothing in return and somehow everything will come to you.

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